Unpopular Opinion: Karaoke is the absolute worst form of entertainment

 

What’s better than hearing Adele hit the high notes from Someone Like You? Hearing those same notes sung as a duet by two drunk college students ironically wearing matching Ramones t-shirts, of course!

If you’re the owner of a bar, let me save you some trouble: your karaoke night is customer repellent. You probably think karaoke night is a huge hit because the same 7 people show up every Wednesday, but I can assure you that your chances of deterring any new customers on those nights are about as likely as a 19-year-old calling any song from Seal “classic rock”.

Maybe I’m too logical but explain to me why anyone would rather listen to YOU sing Piano Man instead of Billy Joel.

Oh stop being so negative. People are having fun!”, you say…

Let me guess, you’re the same kind of person that goes to a concert and belts out every single word to every single song so the people around you who paid $200 per ticket can’t hear the actual artist? You should be in prison.

Are you so boring that you can’t just go to a bar and hang out and socialize? Are you the same kind of person who can’t go into a friends’ pool without immediately trying to organize a game of Marco Polo? I knew it. It’s a beautiful August afternoon, Kyle; let me enjoy it without having to tiptoe around yelling “Marco” with my eyes closed before your 40-year-old cousin with a barbed wire tattoo around his right arm hilariously tries to drown me.

What was I saying? Oh… karaoke… yeah, it’s annoying.

Hey, I’m only saying this to help everyone involved; because however you think you sound, you most definitely actually sound like this:

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