Meh-day Funnies: Woodbridge vs. Mississauga

Published January 11, 2016 at 9:35 pm


It’s Woodbridge vs Mississauga (aka Italy vs. the United Nations) in a head-to-head battle for indoor adult soccer superiority! We are going to break this battle down into five categories and I will determine which region reigns supreme. 

1.  Amount of Households with 35-Year-Old Men Still Living With Their Parents:  

While I have not gone out and completed surveys as to who has more momma’s boys living at home long past university age, I have done some research and the winner is clear. It’s “Dudebridge” by a landslide.  While technically there may be more 30-somethings having their undies washed by their moms in Mississauga, the boys in Woodbridge do it better by rocking a BMW 5 series, Diesel Jeans and Gucci shoes while earning 55k a year under their momma’s roof. 

Winner: Woodbridge

2. Indoor Soccer: 

Everyone knows I am a soccer god in Mississauga and a mainstay at the Hershey Sportszone. So most think I am biased, right? Wrong! In fact, I used to play indoor soccer at the “Coffee Time” Soccer Centre in Woodbridge when most of you were still playing Timbits soccer. So, who does it better? The Azzuri or the UN of soccer in Mississauga Screw it, I am biased. Winner: Mississauga.  

Winner: Mississauga 

3. Bakeries and Cheese shops:

While Mississauga has some fantastic bakeries and amazing spots for baklava, Woodbridge destroyed Mississauga in this category like Holly Holmes did Ronda Rousey.  Grande Cheese outlets and multiple bakeries will fatten you up quicker than Nona’s special tiramisu.

Winner: Woodbridge

4. Ethnic Grocery Game:

Slow down before you go and shout “MISSISSUAGA!” right off the bat. Let me remind you that Woodbridge has “Nations,” a fancier version of the happiest place on earth (Oceans). It also boasts an amazing assortment Italian and some Arabic/Persian grocers to serve the newly arrived ethnic groups in the area. However, their scene is nothing compared to the amazing assortment of West Indian, Pakistani, Punjabi, Arabic, Chinese, Polish and Filipino grocers in our fair city. It’s not even close.

Winner: Mississauga

5. Legit Downtown Core:  

This is my article and I consider the heartbeat of Mississauga to be at the corner of 5/10.  To me, the downtown core of a city is supposed to be gritty and filled with newcomers to Canada. The signs on the shops should be a mix of Sanskrit, Arabic, English and god knows what else.  It should smell of a mix of exhaust fumes, Pho, curry, rotisserie chicken, garlic and BBQ. Not fresh apple pies and a place to take your kids to see how apple cider is made.

Winner: Mississauga



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