5 Things Not To Do At Your Holiday Party in Mississauga

Published December 11, 2015 at 5:16 pm


The company holiday party is a strange beast. Beloved by some and hated by many, it can foster wonderful connections or ruin your professional reputation for at least a month (maybe more if you really act a fool).

Fortunately for you, you can make the best of the annual gathering by following some rules. They’re not necessarily easy to follow because you are only human and a slave to your baser needs, but they’re not impossible either.

Let insauga show you how to avoid leaving a holiday party in disgrace.

5) Don’t Wear Something Inappropriate

You probably think I’m telling you to avoid sexy or revealing outfits that imply you’re an unprofessional harlot better suited for the hotel room than the boardroom, but that’s not what I’m saying at all. Holiday parties, especially those held at local convention centres with chandeliers, are absolutely appropriate venues for sexy dresses. I would never judge your sparkly, backless number (unless, of course, it’s ugly). No, don’t go too casual unless the party is being held in your office lunchroom on a Friday or at an axe-throwing facility. Things to avoid when you dress up for Piatto or Zorro’s: Hoodies, running shoes, yoga pants and athletic wear of any kind. You’re a grown ass man or woman and you need to look absolutely stunning so that your co-workers and their spouses remember you as skilled, interesting, talented and, above all else, beautiful.

4) Don’t Drink Too Much

Unless you’re a teetotaler for personal (you’re a recovering alcoholic), religious (your spiritual leaders frown upon imbibing) or silly (you don’t need alcohol to have fun, you’re drunk on life) reasons, you will drink at your company Christmas party. That’s fine. You should enjoy a glass or two of free Malbec because doing so is both classy and wise (wine will never be free again). That said, do not go wild with the social lubricant. Let the booze warm your heart and then switch to water. This is important, because another big no-no is…

3) Don’t Vomit

Once, at a holiday party at a high-end Mississauga restaurant, I saw a co-worker’s husband start double-fisting double rum and Cokes before we even sat down for appetizers. He slurred his way through the meal and scandalized everyone. I actually think he fell asleep at the table before running to vomit in the bathroom (thankfully, he made it). You can drink, but you cannot vomit. It’s a bridge too far. You’re probably not 19 anymore and people will judge you and talk about you later. 

2) Don’t Trash Talk

I once went on a drunken rant about how serious people don’t go to nice bars or restaurants in hoodies and people called me out on my cruel and judgmental remarks. While I stand by those comments, I am ashamed that people were offended by my inner Mean Girl. It can be easy to criticize your boss or co-workers when you’ve had all the Ontario craft beer, but it’s not wise. Save your opinions for your partner or mom.

1) Approach Sex Carefully

Holiday party sex with someone you’re not all that into is never a good idea. It will lead to hurt feelings, embarrassment and remorse. It might be hard to resist the advances of a tipsy intern, but you need to consider the consequences. What happens if this co-worker falls in love with you and begs you to stay for eggs Benedict? What if you see a hook-up as the culmination of months of secret longing, only to be devastated when the person you consider your future husband or wife calls you an Uber and tells you he or she wants nothing to do with your smoked salmon eggs benny come the morn? What if one or both of you regret the incident? What if you find out that someone has a strange fetish? What if you sweat on their sheets and they demand compensation for their dry cleaning costs? Think long and hard before going home with someone you’re not sure about. Remember, Santa is watching you. 

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